Monday, March 24, 2014
A Prayer to a Capitalist Saint: Please send jelly beans! Thanks.
Mr. Ronald Reagan, AKA Saint Trickle-Down
Red House, Apt #1
1600 Publican Avenue
American Haven, Global-House USA
CC to the Family of Earthlings
Dear Saint Trickle-Down
Congratulations on winning Heaven over to your views of Trickle-down Economics. This must have been difficult, given The Son's tireless -- but futile -- efforts on behalf of the poor.
Your disciples on earth have really been getting the word out!
Meanwhile, I remain a loyal fan of yours, ever since the movie, All American, in 1940. (Oops, I was born in 1944. Mark it down to poetic license.)
In 1969 I cheered as helicopters spread tear gas on students in Berkeley, California (viewed on black and white Television of course). As governor, you were a no-nonsense role model.
I applauded your hard line as President, your fights against those awful socialists and evil communists in Afghanistan, Angola, and Nicaragua. They shunned the blessings of your "trickle-down" economics.
Your plans to protect the oil interests went fabulously too.
See how well they are doing in Angola, for example: http://edition.cnn.com/2012/11/28/business/angola-oil-revenues/)
I loved your vast, cold war military spending, unprecedented in peace time (a great use of American tax dollars).
The Soviet Union, try as they would, could not outspend us and match our military might. Trying to do so, however, they broke their economy, which led to the breakup of the Soviet Union and hardships for most of the inhabitants of this huge, former country. Glory be!
And to think, you accomplished all this by increasing revenues for the US military and defense industries (trickling down more and more bait, er, money to the poor fish at the bottom of the pond!).
Dear Saint Reagan, I believed in you then, and I believe in you now.
I do have a request to make. Would you please ask the Big Money Manager in the Sky to speak to the Tea Party about this small issue?
My problem is this: When we finally got rid of that nasty old Peanut Farmer and you became President, you said trickle down economics would eventually create a rising tide to float all boats, large and small.
I was an entrepreneur, proudly running my own business. The trickling began, and the building-industry in my home town in Oregon, collapsed. I blamed those damnable Democrats, of course.
After toughing it out for three years, I saw realized this trickling was going to take a little longer than I had thought. But I didn't mind: I was still a proud Republican. I even wore green on Saint Patrick's Day!
The trickling began in 1981.
I retrained and took other work, as a teacher, but I lost that job too, due to more government cuts.
I was undaunted: Poverty was my patriotic duty. We were going to rescue the country from the evil Kennedy types, so never mind. I took a pay cut. By then I was earning 50 percent of my former salary as a teacher: A small price to pay for the great American dream -- liberty and freedom for all!
Especially freedom from taxes. Glory be to the Red, White and Blue. Glory to the Elephants in the Sky. And glory to the Gipper!
Now, however, the year is 2014. The economy is still sitting high and dry. My old American dreams hang like skeletons in the closet of my memories, covered with dust and spider webs. Meanwhile, I have retired due to an accumulation of age-related, minor illnesses, hearing loss, lung disease and such.
Of course, the big Republican ships remain, navigating in deeper waters, carrying cargo of bombs and smart weapons. The soldiers, too, are off to liberate the next small country as always; many of them will no doubt be leaving their small arms -- and legs -- on the battlefield. But that is their duty, bringing happiness and liberation to the world, just like Jesus did! Well, almost like Jesus did.
But my point is: The economic tide did not rise equally in all segments of the economy, even after we succeeded in destroying the economies of several nations. You know how we did it: embargoes, sanctions, CIA involvement, funding of revolts, toppling of governments (with flawed economic ideologies of course).
In spite of our successes, I find that a lot of other good Republicans are just like me: still high and dry, waiting for the former and the latter rains.
Now the veterans have joined the ranks of the unemployed too.
Religion used to be an asset for us, but now the speaking-in-tongues of the religious right wing has changed to the wagging of tongues and the pointing of fingers.
Something is wrong in our party: We have been waiting for the trickle-down to become a flood, for 33 years now.
Would you please ask the Big Man in the Sky to whisper in the Tea Party ears: "This trickle thing is not working out quite as planned!"
Yes, it will require a Revelation but, as they say in the military, it falls under "lessons learned."
Thanks, and while your are at it -- We are no longer expecting the rising tide, but -- as an indicator of your approval, could you just rain down a few red, white and blue jelly beans from heaven? Thanks.
Devoted in America