Saturday, April 5, 2014

The death of the great American waffle.

My waffle flopped!
The last great waffle I ever had: That's  what's on my mind.

Waffling! That is, the making of waffles. They don't taste good any more! Have you noticed that? Well, probably not unless you are over 50 years of age.

Maybe this lady named "Karly" has the solution, maybe not. Her recipe certainly looks enticing, and after this morning, I intend to try it out.

I would try Karly's waffle recipe right now except for one thing: Laura only has one egg left in the fridge and what do you want to bet she has plans for that egg? Oh, and I already ate.

I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning and my tummy was growling, but I thought, "It's better to be hungry now than to have diabetes later."

That was before I had the visions. I am not saying the visions were from the "Lord" of your choice.

I started dreaming of waffles the way I used to eat them, when I was a kid. For those who may not know me, that was a long time ago (as in the 1940s and 50s).

The vision just would not go away, so I got up and got out the waffle iron.

How I wish I had Mom's old waffle iron again: Yes, the one that had brown and black persistent crud that would not scrub off. It featured a curly wire wrapped around the cord where it entered the waffle iron. You could not get the damned thing clean, but I just can't make good waffles without it.

I swear, something is wrong with my waffle iron. Something has changed with the waffle irons lately. My waffles always turn out soggy. If  I leave them in the waffle iron long enough to become crispy -- they way waffles are supposed to be -- they come out stiff as a board!

If anyone has an old waffle iron from the 1940s in working condition, I want that thing. Now.

Yes, they are heavy! Cast iron, none of this Teflon, uh, stuff.

I could swear that soggy waffles are a Communist plot (did you ever notice how the government, the EPA for instance, makes you feel guilty for the damnest things? Good waffles, for instance.)

I am betting that they changed the specs for waffle irons, as if crispy waffles were a notable cause of global warming.

Mind you, I am a firm believer in global warming: I just don't think soggy waffles are going to save the world!

I cannot imagine a Russian worrying about cooking waffles on a cast iron waffle maker. So I guess it's not a Communist plot. Nonetheless, modern waffle irons rank right down there with water-saving toilets, in my opinion. You know. the ones that don't flush?

Oops, I am off topic. Back to the Russians, who I guess are no longer Communists (though I suppose Mr. Putin must rank right up there with Stalin). But do Russians even know what waffles are? Well, certainly, if they ever went to an I-HOP!

My point is, everything else (except Mom, of course) is the same as when I was a kid: the batter, the dough, the syrup, the butter, the 110 volts AC, the imaginary Communist plots. The problem must be with the new electronic waffle-flopping gadgets. That's all I can figure out.

Nonetheless, next time I have a hankering for waffles, I plan to look up this gal, Karly. She looks like the type of person who knows her waffles inside out and backwards, and this recipe looks yummy.

If that doesn't fix the problem, I am back to shopping in antique stores for a real waffle iron.

That's it. Enjoy your breakfast: Mine is sitting like a rock in my stomach right now, which made me look online a solution: Wish me better luck next time, as I plan to try "Buns In My Oven" very best waffles. If you get around to doing this first, please let me know how they turn out!

You may find Karly's waffle recipe here:  http://www.bunsinmyoven.com/2012/05/30/the-very-best-waffles/

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