Saturday, October 29, 2016

Am I Mature Yet?

I don’t know. I guess you could say I am “ripe” but is that the same as mature? I am now 72 years of age. Am I mature, or merely “old?”
Does it really take 72 years before one realizes what is really important to him or her? Seems to have worked that way with me. To know where I really stand with relation to the world, with relation to everything, to “the heart of all that is,” as I think Chief Red Cloud might have put it. 
But then, I keep changing. Will I have another realization when I am 80 or 90, if I live that long? Will this stage seem immature at that time?
I feel things very strongly. I sense the pain and the hurt, and I see that everything is all messed up, and that we have a chance to fix it, but will we?
Okay, I just watched a Native American pleading for justice in Standing Rock, where a sniper killed an 11 year old girl. Pleading for an end to the pipeline, for the protection of the water and of the reservation, and for an end to the senseless violence.
Another of the signs I saw pointed to the solidarity between Palestine and Standing Rock. People in Palestine can understand, can relate, but to so many of my friends and acquaintances it’s like, ho hum. They shrug it off, or laugh it off, or act as if our privilege is a divine right.
Will enough of us ever be on the same page to lift the weight of cruelty? Will we, collectively ever be able to see through the fog that blurs our vision? Will we ever get warm the in this damp mist that chills us to our uncaring bones? Will we ever care enough to feel. Will we ever progress or evolve enough to view one another as fully human? This is of concern to me but I feel helpless in the face of it, in the enormity of it. 
I don’t even want to look into the dark corners of the world, of poverty and hunger and sickness. I can’t. But unless we do, how will things ever change? How can we, how can I, accept the way things are, how can I view the world today as “normal?” But how can I change it, even to make a small impact? The callousness hurts me, but not enough apparently, to cause me make a difference. 
I struggle to be, as the Jill Stein campaign slogan says: “the difference I want to see.” Am I mature yet? 

#mature #maturity #amimatureyet? 

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